The Ex Factor

The letter itself provokes thoughts of error and complete cancellation. The x, or ex, for my purposes however, is not as cut and dry as it sounds. As much as we hate those annoying red marks on papers that suggest a lapse in thought, the ones from our personal lives aren't as easy to accept as final and definite wrongs.

How come our exes keep popping up even when we've labeled them as mistakes and topped them with a sign that suggests crossing them out of our lives? Can you ever completely x out an ex?

If a relationship ends on a sour note, you can bet that the two of you will likely never want to, or try to, contact each other to play a friendly game of catch up. If a relationship comes undone under natural circumstances, then for a short period after you may shoot the other a quick how are you every now and again. Emphasis on the word short. Nothing is worse than having your ex host a never ending pity party in your honor, or doing the same to him.

After a while, even the most amicable of exes should pull the brakes on keeping each other in the picture. You can never move on from one relationship to another if you're still tangled up in the past.

The possible exception: Friends turned lovers turned friends, who can seamlessly shuffle from one stage of intimacy to another without feeling obligated to force polite conversation. How this pans out in the long run depends on how a new boyfriend or girlfriend handles the ongoing relationship. Three's a crowd and stepping on toes is likely.

One thing is certain when dealing with the ex factor. No matter how pretty (or ugly) the breakup details, a lingering ex is sure to taint any new relationship. Bottom Line: Out with the old, in with the new. After all, they're called exes for a reason.