Don't Say I Do, If You Don't...

The stumbling number of marriages that fail, particularly first marriages, is something to be contemplated before saying those two final words. I have always been a romantic, but have accepted that self fulfillment on certain levels must exist before two people can choose to coexist, indefinitely. Satisfaction with oneself is critical to have before committing to a lifetime of satisfaction as a pair. My theory: Don't say I do, if you don't.

I've always wondered why people that find love later in life, for the first time or all over again, seem to have marriages that work far more effortlessly than those who get married at a younger age. My prognosis is that financial security, career success and general self accomplishment and contentment contribute to this trend. 

Later in life, the individual issues that drive a person to focus far more on themselves and their own happiness are typically achieved. Two people as a whole can live with less strife when they aren't constantly striving to be something else or find something else, and can be happy with each other only when they are happy with themselves as individuals.

Too many women get wrapped up in the idea of marriage, absent of the responsibilities and changes ahead and existing only as a fairy tale milestone. This ideal perpetuates the unfortunate divorce trend, as young women forget that solidifying a we does not make up for lack of a stable me. A relationship can certainly exist through the period of self uncertainty, but permanently becoming part of an us before you have figured out yourself, will leave you with a rocky road ahead. 

The moral of this story: Focus on the words "I am" before you get wrapped up in the notion of "I do."