No matter how big or small your number, honesty is always the best policy. The easiest way to mess up any relationship is to lie, and clearing the air before anything gets too involved will test if you're both seriously interested. Keep in mind that these numbers should be discussed once, and only once, and just like the conversation, the characters involved should be left in the past. Don't dwell on how many people he has slept with, or try to pry further into any specifics. Know that he is with you now, and your future together outweighs his past with numbers 1, 2, 3 and 4 by a long shot.
Being open with each other in the beginning will only help your relationship build a sense of trust. If you're worried about his number being too high, remember that he's choosing to be with you. Don't destroy a relationship before it even takes off because of an imaginary competition with figments of his past.
When you ask "can I have your number?" simply leave it at that.
"Being open with each other in the beginning will only help your relationship build a sense of trust. If you're worried about his number being too high, remember that he's choosing to be with you."
ReplyDeleteThough I agree with this, I believe we need to change our mindsets and see that the the relationship is OUR choice, too. In the past, I've felt special in relationships because "the guy chose me". I've had to learn that I have a say in things, and my inner-voice needs to be heard. I'm realizing the importance of letting myself choose. It's necessary to weed out the not-so-good guys and recognize the not-so-good traits... but that can be hard to do if we keep thinking that we need to be with them because they chose us.
I completely agree, I just meant that in the sense of worrying about other girls. If someone wants to be with you, you are the only girl. And, of course, that decision is as equally yours as it is his. I'm not saying to feel that you have to be with someone just because they chose you and that makes you feel special. You should already feel special enough to have a huge say in deciding who to let in to your life, but in terms of being paranoid about other girls, don't think about them, think about yourself.
ReplyDeleteHigh number isn't always a bad thing, with a higher number comes more experience :-)
ReplyDeleteeven if it's high - we can't punish a partner for the past - as long as they can stay devoted to you
ReplyDeleteExactly, the past is something apart from your present relationship with him and should not factor into your situation. If you're happy together then that's what matters, it's you and him.
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