Romantic Movie Pick of the Week: Ever After

This version of Cinderella offers a gritty and less fantastical (substitute glass slipper for embellished shoe and fairy godmother for mentor Leonardo Da Vinci) twist on the original, chronicling the trials of a mistreated woman who manages to charm Prince Charming himself.

While impersonating a noble under her deceased mother's name in an attempt to save a friend's life, the servant Danielle (made so by none other than her cruel stepmother) encounters Prince Henry, who is immediately awestruck by her unabashed resolve. Captivated by the stranger, the Prince inquires about the mysterious Comtesse Nicole De Lancret, knowing nothing of Danielle's true identity.

Amidst the pressures of a looming arranged marriage designed by his family, the Prince fervently pursues Danielle, who shies away for fear that he could never love a peasant. When fantasy and reality collide, their love story is tested, and yes, the Prince is left with nothing but a shoe to chase at one point.

Don’t worry, much like the original, this movie ends happily ever after. And for those who hate females who need to be rescued, this Cinderella is no damsel in distress.

The Lady and the Tramp

Two conflicting personas, one confusing ordeal.

We have all met her, hell, we have probably all been her (to varying degrees) at some point. The girl at the bar who makes it known that she is looking for nothing more than a one night stand. We envy how men flock to her, preferring transient, guaranteed, noncommittal satisfaction over anything of substance. We brush this girl off as a tramp and convince ourselves that no guy would ever consider anything serious with "a girl like that", but as ladies, are we just trying to compensate for our own loss? Can what was supposed to be "just sex" really be the foundation for a lasting relationship? Should women who seek something more jump on board or are casual flings just sinking ships?

Yes, good sex is a key component in any relationship, but I'd like to believe that laying the stepping stones for something real doesn't begin with a lay, in general. I'd like to believe that. With each girls night out, more and more it seems that men are getting tired of working for a girl's attention, or maybe they just want something physical, period. Are we playing too coy and dooming ourselves to be the ones left standing at last call, or are there really too few men out there that believe the juice is worth the squeeze?

I always thought that men simply slept with the one night stands, devoid of any emotional connection, and dated the girls who weren't as easy. The lines between the two are blurring nowadays. Many relationships emerge from a drunken hook up, or from a series of meaningless but consistent flings that force a pair to find comfort and companionship after extended time together. If the physical part has already been nailed down, what creates the barrier that prevents "just sex" from becoming something more?

The answers are contingent upon our own personalities, desires and experiences, and those of the potential suitors that we interact with. If what we want is the chase, then we have to wait for someone who is willing to do just that. If we don't feel the need to drag out the inevitable, then we must accept that it could end after one night, a number of nights, or simply never develop into anything more.

We can play either the lady or the tramp, but we must remember that while there are plenty of fish in the sea, the type that we reel in are the ones that are hungry for whatever it is that we put out there. Sex or otherwise.

My question:

Would you consider a one night stand for a serious relationship, or are you looking for someone who makes you work for it?

Don't Say I Do, If You Don't...

The stumbling number of marriages that fail, particularly first marriages, is something to be contemplated before saying those two final words. I have always been a romantic, but have accepted that self fulfillment on certain levels must exist before two people can choose to coexist, indefinitely. Satisfaction with oneself is critical to have before committing to a lifetime of satisfaction as a pair. My theory: Don't say I do, if you don't.

I've always wondered why people that find love later in life, for the first time or all over again, seem to have marriages that work far more effortlessly than those who get married at a younger age. My prognosis is that financial security, career success and general self accomplishment and contentment contribute to this trend. 

Later in life, the individual issues that drive a person to focus far more on themselves and their own happiness are typically achieved. Two people as a whole can live with less strife when they aren't constantly striving to be something else or find something else, and can be happy with each other only when they are happy with themselves as individuals.

Too many women get wrapped up in the idea of marriage, absent of the responsibilities and changes ahead and existing only as a fairy tale milestone. This ideal perpetuates the unfortunate divorce trend, as young women forget that solidifying a we does not make up for lack of a stable me. A relationship can certainly exist through the period of self uncertainty, but permanently becoming part of an us before you have figured out yourself, will leave you with a rocky road ahead. 

The moral of this story: Focus on the words "I am" before you get wrapped up in the notion of "I do."

DO Sweat the Small Stuff

In dating, it's a cardinal rule to avoid over thinking the little things. Not everyone, myself included, is a naturally simple woman. I'll admit that I am programmed to pick apart, analyze and let myself make a mess of bits of meaningless and unrelated information; weaving them together so tightly in my mind that a drama, concocted by my own insecurities, threatens to create strangers out of the people that I love. I'm not ashamed to say that I've been called a drama queen, because that persona is a product of me being true to myself and to my emotions, and not being afraid to share them. After all, communication in any relationship is key.

Those who stifle their pain and shake off any concerns in a relationship may avoid being accused of riding the crazy train, but while acting aloof toward selfish gestures on the part of their partner may conceal any problems on the outside, this mask certainly does not extend to the emotions. Try as we might, the truth inside always manages to linger and eventually claw its way out. And, let's be honest, one can only feign impassivity for so long. The even bigger issue? Feeling the need to to begin with.

As women we have been trained to avoid these faux paus, to push aside our overly critical tendencies and to not sweat the small stuff, if not for our own sanity, than for the sake of our relationships. Whether a simplistic wannabe or a true go with the flow kind of gal, I say we ditch this mentality and start talking. Besides, what truly secure person treats every small act of disrespect so nonchalantly, essentially screaming that they will roll over in tough situations? It's time to accept that it's okay to squash the issues, no matter how seemingly irrelevant to others.

While the bigger and more common relationship mistakes have more lofty consequences, that doesn't mean that careful consideration of the smaller ones isn't warranted. A subtle but still hurtful figurative slap in the face can be deemed just as worthy of mature conversation as any inconsiderate act. And not to oversimplify, but our gut feelings are good indicators of whether something is right or wrong, and should not be ignored in an effort to avoid confrontation. We can't be afraid to speak up and stand up for fear of losing someone, because when we don't, we risk losing ourselves.

Bottom Line: If you find yourself brushing off that pang in your heart, it's time to start talking. Get real with yourself, and with the one you love.

The Ex Factor

The letter itself provokes thoughts of error and complete cancellation. The x, or ex, for my purposes however, is not as cut and dry as it sounds. As much as we hate those annoying red marks on papers that suggest a lapse in thought, the ones from our personal lives aren't as easy to accept as final and definite wrongs.

How come our exes keep popping up even when we've labeled them as mistakes and topped them with a sign that suggests crossing them out of our lives? Can you ever completely x out an ex?

If a relationship ends on a sour note, you can bet that the two of you will likely never want to, or try to, contact each other to play a friendly game of catch up. If a relationship comes undone under natural circumstances, then for a short period after you may shoot the other a quick how are you every now and again. Emphasis on the word short. Nothing is worse than having your ex host a never ending pity party in your honor, or doing the same to him.

After a while, even the most amicable of exes should pull the brakes on keeping each other in the picture. You can never move on from one relationship to another if you're still tangled up in the past.

The possible exception: Friends turned lovers turned friends, who can seamlessly shuffle from one stage of intimacy to another without feeling obligated to force polite conversation. How this pans out in the long run depends on how a new boyfriend or girlfriend handles the ongoing relationship. Three's a crowd and stepping on toes is likely.

One thing is certain when dealing with the ex factor. No matter how pretty (or ugly) the breakup details, a lingering ex is sure to taint any new relationship. Bottom Line: Out with the old, in with the new. After all, they're called exes for a reason.

Dirty Politics

Long time, no love. My apologies for giving this blog the cold shoulder, but it's back to business. Today's topic of discussion: The biggest weiner of them all, Anthony Weiner. 

Why is it that men in power are so susceptible to cheating? Anthony Weiner, who officially stepped down from his position as Congressman of New York's 9th district, really did a number on his reputation with his recent sexting scandal. Though he initially denied sending images of his penis to a number of women via Twitter, he eventually came clean. 

This isn't the first time a politician has been caught engaging in lewd behavior, and given the latest headlines, it won't be the last. Case in point: Arnold Schwarzenegger.

It appears that, when men are elevated to positions of power, their egos become just as inflated. One would think that their statuses as figures of extreme scrutiny would make then weary of potential scandal, but instead many find themselves living "above the law", so to speak. 

Whether they think that their money and titles will save them from fault, or that the opportunities afforded to them should be seized in spite of consequences, their behavior knocks them right off of their pedestals. They just never seem to learn from the previous "dirty" politician's mistakes.

Maybe these men search for power to mask their insecurities, or maybe they become so brainwashed by their lifestyles that they feel entitled to do and have everything and anything. Constant criticism from the public may limit the amount of introspection that they are capable of, and while unfortunate, it does not justify their actions.

Weiner's explicit tweets rocked the nation, and provided us with yet another politician, dazed and confused once found out, who just never saw it coming. 

Lesson: If you can't take the tweet, get out of the kitchen.

Double Date Night

This weekend, break out your bowling shoes and head to the alley for a double date! Team up with your friends' boyfriend and compete against your man. This will bring the four of you closer together, rather than isolating each couple. The perk of double dating: You can spend time with him and still be social. An opportunity to be together in a larger social sphere keeps things fresh and exciting.