Dating can be exhausting if we always have expectations of something more growing out of it. It becomes a process rather than something that is supposed to be fun. We stress about finding someone and end up reaching for every guy that comes our way, only to be disappointed in the end. It's impossible to find a match every time, and we should not be discouraged when a date is just that, a date. For those of you who find yourselves growing tired of the old dating game, maybe it's time to take a new approach.
The first date can always be nerve wracking, but the ones following should be more relaxed and comfortable. It's supposed to be about getting to know someone and having a good time while doing it, not worrying about where it may lead. Dating doesn't always have to go anywhere serious, and can just be done for the sole reason of going out. It can simply be something fresh and exciting, and not necessarily future material.
Instead of pulling our hair out and becoming sick of dating, we need to realize that it is okay to be single, for however long that may be. We start to tire of dating because we never allow ourselves that time to be on our own, and jump at the chance of being with x,y and z because we fear the dreaded single status. It never helps to relentlessly search for someone. We need to shake off the expectations of being in a relationship and just sit back and enjoy the ride. Taking the time to work on our relationships with ourselves will only strengthen a future one with someone else.
Maybe casual dating is the answer, or taking a break from it all together. There is such a thing as too much dating, and forcing ourselves to seize every romantic opportunity (no matter how far fetched) that crosses our paths can detract from our enjoyment and faith in love.
The next time someone gives you that sympathetic look when you tell them that you're single, remember that me comes before we, and that dating will become exhausting if you always associate date with mate.
Material Girl
ReplyDeleteGreat work Al! This is so true to my life right now :/ Material girl?
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ReplyDeleteI don't know if the perception of hopeless dating is a common one amongst women, but if it is that's kinda upsetting because I think dating makes life exciting. I think the perception is one that most guys see later in life, as far as dating with a purpose to find the next relationship. I personally enjoy dating. I do have to say that when I go on a date I do exactly what you advise in this post, I do it all for fun. Yeah in the back of my mind I always think maybe I'll find that one girl worth going further with. But there is something about taking a girl out and just doing everything in your power to make it a great night that makes it exciting. Most guys I think date with either the purpose of getting a relationship or with the hope that at the end of the night some magic will happen. haha. I do admit that both are a plus, but I just love the act itself. It makes me feel great. I love the idea of the game and finding how different girls are moved. It's quite fascinating and make you love women more. Even when in a relationship I still find myself doing this with my girlfriend. Going out on a date, pretending it's your first one, and finding new ways to excite her makes life a lot more interesting. But maybe this is just me
ReplyDeleteIt is not just you anonymous. There is something about the entrancing look, the one that says "I'm having the time of my life with you", in the eyes of a woman you've just met that reminds me how enthralling dating is.
ReplyDeleteIt's the pursuit of that twinkle in the eye, or that laugh, or smile, whatever it may be that fuels my fun on a date. It's like you say, a game, and no matter win or lose the beauty of dating is, you control the outcome. And, if things go bad, you can get out and bounce back.
To Alex, couldn't agree more with, "Dating doesn't always have to go anywhere serious, and can just be done for the sole reason of going out." Dating should be spontaneous, daring, flirty, relaxed, curious, but always, and most importantly, fun.