Mirror, Mirror...

It's easy to scrutinize the problems in our peers' relationships and make the solution to whatever issue the couple is dealing with seem obvious. We simplify the necessary response, but this is only because of our detachment from the inner workings of the relationship itself. When it comes to our own dilemmas, we tend to think twice, sometimes even going against the judgment of the better part of our selves, the self that can operate more rationally outside the bounds of love and emotion.

We have all given advice to friends in need, friends who wonder "Is he cheating? Is he lying? Does he treat me right?" We assess the issues and instantly have a plan, pushing it forward and wondering how something so seemingly evident could not be accepted. We react to resistance with frustration as though taking action will come as easily as arriving at the verdict itself. Of course, to us, it seems plain as day. Why shouldn't it?

An outside perspective works solely around facts and is a far cry from those emotionally invested. But what happens when the same issues that we convince our friends are break-up worthy become our own reality? The solution is not as clear, and we reject the strong stance that we had while helping another, and refuse to think from the outside. We become the girl we so desperately try to convince of our conclusions regarding her troubled relationship. When the roles are reversed, we can't step up and take a dose of our own advice.

Sometimes it's better to release ourselves from the constraints of emotion that can override our thought process. Sometimes we need to give ourselves the same advice that we give others. Nobody wants to be that girl, purely naive and refusing to acknowledge the faults in her relationship, yet criticizing others in the same boat for their failure to see the light.

When you find yourself contradicting your strongest convictions for the sake of sparing yourself heartache, maybe it's time to have a look from the outside.