The Rules of Flirting

When it comes to flirting, how much is too much? This question doesn't really apply to those of us who are single, but for those who are taken, is there a line that exists? I have always seen flirting as harmless, and find that, as a woman, it's hard not to use it as an advantage.  Girls tend to have a different agenda when they flirt, often a desire to easily obtain something.  Guys, on the other hand, flirt simply for the opportunity to interact with the opposite sex.  Whatever the purpose for flirting, there are boundaries and conditions that apply.

When things go beyond the verbal and move to the physical, that is an obvious and definite offense, otherwise known as cheating.  On a smaller scale, when things become too intense verbally, that is also a strike. We all flirt, but some of us take it beyond the accepted amount and move into dangerous territory.  Repeated flirting with the same person can be meaningless, but when it goes from a social setting to a one on one setting, that could be construed as a date.  If you have a flirtatious but strictly platonic relationship with someone and realize they may want something more, be sure to address your status as "taken".

Pretending to be single suggests that you want this person to believe you're single, which could translate to a desire to actually be single. Additionally, when the flirting becomes too personal and continues via messaging of any type, take a step back.  Even if you don't plan on taking the flirting any further, your partner may think otherwise. As for the compulsive flirters out there, consider if your need to flirt is a personality trait that is based on attention and social interaction, or a need to escape the binds of a relationship that you may not want to be in.

If you wonder if your flattery is too much, think of how you would feel if the roles were reversed. Would you feel disrespected or hurt? Would you think something more was going on other than innocent flirting?  When you have to worry if your flirting is bordering inappropriate, it probably is. Nothing will slap you back into reality faster than a bit of empathy.  Imagine your partner in your shoes and have a look from the outside.