Long Distance Relationships: Friend or Foe?

For those of us who have been in long distance relationships, I'm sure you're familiar with the ups and downs of being with someone who is, for the most part, physically absent from your life.  The vital emotional connection is sustained through phone calls, texts and emails, but every little fight, problem or pain is compounded by the distance. Distant words, spoken or written, are the only means available in communicating, and fighting without the other senses can be dragged on and petty.  The actual heart ache that is felt on your last day together is something that lessens with time, or maybe you just get used to the daunting pain.  But the good can, and should, outweigh the bad.

Long distance relationships can work, and can strengthen the bond between two people, who grow to appreciate the sacrifices they make for one another.  They can demonstrate the commitment two people have to each other and provide both with the opportunities to have a sense of self that is not defined by their attachment to someone else. The success of long distance relationships is largely dependent upon the people involved.

If you're willing to cope with the ache in your heart and know that seeing each other, whenever that may be, will nullify the weeks or even months of feeling those moments of longing, then it's worth it.  If you're willing to accept that messaging and phone calls are a crucial part in maintaining that sense of togetherness, then you can get through it. You also have to question how long you want to be long distance, and if you know that both of you want to be together, not biweekly, but every day, someday, then you do it. Only you can determine whether or not that empty space can wait to be filled, and whether or not there is enough trust on the part of both parties to accept having to wait for that fulfillment.

I, personally, never quite understood the term heartache, at least in it's physical translation, until I was in a long distance relationship.  It didn't hit me at first, but after months of dating and transitioning from seeing each other every day to seeing each other twice a month, I finally felt it.  I had to suppress my tears hours before the moment of departure, and the goodbye felt like someone was twisting my heart.
Sunday mornings had this lingering sadness that was evident, but not acknowledged, until it was actually time to go.  I would try to prolong our time together, but eventually the separation was inevitable.  For that first night alone, I was in a temporary daze, but a few days of a return to my normal routine helped to lessen the hurt.  Knowing that even when we were apart, we could still have an intimacy that was not solely physical but based upon something deeper was comforting.

I believe that, while it took a toll on me in the time we were apart, the time that we spent together was that much better.  Every second was spent in a state of ridiculous happiness, and looking at those moments is what got me through until the next visit.

Long distance relationships can certainly test your level of dedication, but if two people love each other enough to want to make it work, they can be a wonderful thing.