We've all seen it. The couple who is together only in private, but in public refuses to acknowledge themselves as anything more than friends. I hate to say it, but typically it's the guy who keeps his relationship with the girl under wraps, only allowing her to see how he feels in isolation, and unwilling to take it beyond closed doors. They spend time together, but never beyond the confines of their safe space. Going out is out of the question, and any public discussion of their relationship is brushed off.
Everyone knows what's going on between them, but he won't budge. His friends badger him, but he dismisses their questions, not because he respects her privacy, but because he doesn't respect her. His shady behavior is ignored the second he becomes "hers" again, and she uses his actions when they're alone to negate how poorly he treats her outside of their bubble.
In terms of self esteem, a guy who prefers your company only in private is, metaphorically speaking, slapping you in the face. Women may argue that he cares because he does x, y and z, (all in private, of course) but what about the things that he doesn't do? If your relationship is a secret, he may be keeping you under wraps.
If he can only show you how he "cares" when nobody is around to see, then he doesn't care enough. He should be proud of you, and even if he doesn't want a relationship, at least have the decency to acknowledge you in public. If he treats you like a princess when it's just the two of you, then pulls back and ignores your existence the second that his friends appear, that in itself should be a red flag. He doesn't respect you. These types of "relationships", "hookups," or whatever you may call them, are doomed to fail.
The truth: If a guy can't be with you publicly, than he doesn't deserve to be with you at all.
I respect your opinion but I would have to disagree. I have had numerous friends in this situation where the girl was keeping the guy 'under wraps'. It was quite sad to see. Whenever they were together at their respective dwellings the girl was enamored. But in public she often distanced herself from him. Maybe there was an underlying sense of insecurity in her decision. Who knows.
ReplyDeleteHey Romeo, girls can be just as guilty when it comes to keeping someone "under wraps", and both situations are wrong. I think you're right in the reason: insecurities within the one doing it or toward the one they are doing it to. No one, guy or girl, should put up with that kind of "relationship."
ReplyDeleteWell said, once again. I feel that girls in these types of relationships have low self-esteem themselves. They probably are grateful that someone treats them well even in private, which is really sad. No girl, no matter who they are, or even a guy deserves to be in a relationship like that.
ReplyDeleteAnyone in a relationship like this is probably scared that they won't find anyone else, that this is good enough for them, but it is not true. Settling should not be an option when it comes to relationships, there is somebody perfect out there for all of us, who will treat you perfectly in private and in public.
TOTALLY feel you. absolutely true!
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