Wednesday, March 9, 2011

If It IS Broke, Don't Fix It

Everyone encounters problems in their relationship from time to time, and how they deal with them is dependent upon the people involved as well as the extent of the issue at hand. Sometimes we need to realize that we cannot and should not always fix something when it's broken, as we could end up leaving our hearts in a far worse state than the relationship that we are so desperately trying to save.  As far as relationships go, broken suggests an absence of love on the part of one or both parties, and that in itself is something that is irreparable.

The situation: He tells you he doesn't love you anymore and that he is ending things.  You beg him to stay and tell him that you want to work things out. The resolution: You end up together again but constantly wonder about how you can make him love you, how you can change and what you did wrong. The problem: Love isn't something that can be constructed by any words.  It is a natural feeling, and if it doesn't exist, why pretend that it does?

It always amazes me how easily an essentially "broken" couple can artificially repair itself. Patched up relationships may be smoothed over on the surface, but the entire structure is balancing on a counterfeit framework. Break-ups imply that something is broken, and like small fragments of glass, your heart cannot be fixed with such a temporary solution. While it hurts, sometimes a break-up is needed so that you can fully heal as opposed to leaving your heart in pieces, trudging along with only the delusional idea of being "okay" to keep it together.  Simply staying together for the sake of staying together rather than coping with the hurt and eventually finding love is inevitably more painful than breaking-up. A glazed over surface can only mask the truth for so long, and being happy just to be with someone, and not the someone, isn't true happiness.

When someone flat out dismisses you, your relationship and your love, that's a fairly strong indicator that the issue cannot be sorted out.  To be dumped, and even worse, to be told that you are no longer loved, is painful.  Even more painful is how women can react to this.  Rather than trying to convince someone to love you, you should realize that you shouldn't have to.  If someone breaks your heart or tells you that theirs is no longer in the relationship, then that's that. Love involves two people, and to settle for anything less would be limiting your happiness. Sometimes something isn't meant to be, and the acceptance of this is what will move us forward to find what is. The recovery process will be less painful, and when we do find something real, it will be even more wonderful simply because we know that our love is undeniably and unconditionally reciprocated.

When it comes to relationships, if it is broken, maybe you shouldn't fix it.

No comments:

Post a Comment